Manners are Caught, NOT Taught

…so goes the saying.

It is indeed a depleting world we live in today where the bright side is only shone mostly on the social network but poorly when it comes to human relations. It is no longer an admirable character, be it among children or adults. Manners seems to have been relegated – as a fair perception that only comes from the books and fairy tales. But why am I saying this right now?

Case 1: I’ve heard recently that a well schooled and an intellectually gifted child who has no qualms in chiding his parents when they converse in a topic that does not suit his fancy.

Case 2: I’ve seen in chatgroups where a junior talks back openly and almost instantly to his elder about something the very elder gently cautioned him of the peril it may cause to broadcast messages without first verifying it.

Case 3: The seniors are today addressed with just names by the juniors as they would their friends and peers in schools or unis.

Case 4: Actually, the list just goes on. So where did we go wrong?

To the best of my memory, I can’t quite pinpoint the exact answer. Was it the upbringing that was faulty or was it the duty of the parents that have faltered in this modern world? Or perhaps due to the bombardment of tuitions and extra educational classes that rendered the children as just walking text books rather than kids of culture, relationship and good heritage? Or could it be the playstations, warcraft or the PG13 blockbusters?

I reckon if we fast forward to 20 years down the road, it will be a depressing sight if not controlled from henceforth.

So where to we go from here?

Firstly, I sincerely feel adults of all age group has a role to play. They are OBLIGED to behave and display characters that they’d like to see in their children, period. No excuses and no reasons for double standards or of varying treatments in different situations.

Secondly, adults who lack manners must truly be re-educated and reminded of how their actions have made others feel. Of course there are many ways to skin a cat and every adult must exercise wisdom in relaying the message.

Thirdly, every child must be applauded when they behave and be made known too when their behaviour is incessantly appalling. I remember giving my daughter the thumbs up and openly praised her in front of my dearest wife for excellent behaviour the day before. And yes you guessed right, the subsequent few days were just blissful. I can’t quite remember how misbehaved she has been since that day or for that matter if she was ever a trouble-child to begin with.

Fourthly, every parent should re-examine the school and the friends their children are hanging out with. Break the friendships if you have to for this will save your child’s future. This bold move will see you reducing the burden of those your child will hang out with or get married to many years down the road.

And finally, there are several constant truths to life that we must not ignore. Good education breeds good thinking and good thinking breeds wise characters. So send your children to places where you think will mould their characters and not only their academic credentials because in the end, whether they make or break as a member of a society will largely depend on this valuable and well cultivated behaviour of good manners.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *